Basics: well drinks are $4 (though Tanqueray and tonics were going for a decently-priced $6); extremely limited food options; citrus juices are fresh-squeezed. Weekday specials run from 4:00 p.m. to 7:00 p.m.
The Hideout can be difficult to classify. I, for one, would call it an elegant dive bar. My APIC* Arlen called it “tacky, but it seems like they did that on purpose.” Yeah, bars should be dark. But The Hideout takes that concept to a new extreme, painting the walls black and placing thick burgundy velvet curtains over the front windows to block out all outside light.
Lighting fixtures and filaments are, for the most part, eschewed. The Hideout relies mostly on strategically placed candlelight for illumination, with an assist from three mismatched rustic (rusted?) chandeliers. The Hideout wisely moves red light bulbs from the darkroom to their refrigeration units, which go easy on the dilated eyes.
Odd, though, that such a dark bar has such an outstanding collection of Northwest art. Over 70 paintings cover the walls in an artistic orgy of a mosaic, rotating on a weekly basis. This week’s selection ran the gamut of ferryboats, breasts, dice, octopi, a scuba diver emerging from a shower and a lion-headed woman taking a gigantic cock up her ass. No. Really.
Well drinks transcend the dive bar-ish feel, thanks to the pain-in-the-ass-to-make-but-oh-so-tasty fresh-squeezed juice: Gordon’s vodka has never tasted so amazing or gone down as smooth. I easily went through four heavy-pour wells without any complaints. Stay away from the gimlet, though: Brett’s drink had zero alcoholic kick to it. Lovers of screwdrivers and greyhounds should seriously consider making this a regular haunt.
The specialty drink menu, though, was cumbersome and somewhat pretentious. I will award The Hideout some points for creativity: The Hemingway, for example, is a shot of hornitos tequila, a Dos Equis and a Nat Sherman cigarette. The Rhubarb Manhattan I ordered (Makers, Aperol, Cynar and rhubarb bitters), however, definitely disappointed. For a bar that has some of the best well drinks in the city, I expected a bit more from the specialty menu. At a $7 to $14 price point, you’ll be better off sticking to the screwdriver.
*Alcoholic Partner In Crime. Arlen and I go way back.
The Hideout. 1005 Boren Ave (Boren and Madison), Seattle’s First Hill. Weekdays, 4:00-7:00 p.m.
