Maharaja Cuisine of India

Basics: $2 well drinks, select $1 appetizers with drink purchase. Daily specials run 4:00 p.m. to 9:00 p.m. (Don't be confused: there are several different businesses in the greater Seattle area with the same name. This is the one on Capitol Hill.)


A bunch of us had a discussion at brunch a few weeks back about how many drinks it takes for one to feel buzzed. While most agreed that two was the magic number, Arlen and I felt that five was more appropriate.

That said: you could not pay me enough to down five drinks poured at Maharaja.

Tucked away behind faded batik swaths lies one of Seattle’s most potent bars, daily pouring toxic drinks that deliciously burn going down in the most masochistic of fashions. I ordered two positively antiseptic gin and tonics and by some miracle of life was still able to form coherent sentences by the time the check came around.

Don’t misunderstand: these are not good drinks. Connoisseurs would do well walking up the Pike/Pine Corridor in favor of swankier bars with an actual palette for cocktails. But for those people who’ve had it up to here with their boss for the sixth time this week? Slap down $2 and blissfully sip away your frustrations.

Don’t come for the décor, unless you enjoy spending time at Cornish's freshmen dorm. Ignore the music, except if you’re familiar with Bollywood’s greatest hits. But these drinks? Unless you have an 8.0-on-the-Richter-scale hangover (like the APIC did … sorry about last night!), come enjoy the cheap-as-hell fuck-you-up booze that we all dreamt of in college.

On the other hand, you could listen to the advice of co-worker Sara: Maharaja generally sounds like a great idea. It rarely is.

Maharaja Cuisine of India. 720 E Pike St (Pike and Harvard), Seattle's Capitol Hill. Daily 4:00-9:00 p.m.

UPDATE: Maharaja has closed its doors as of the January 2011. As a collective, Seattleites' livers are undoubtedly happy, but their wallets are weeping.

Boka Kitchen and Lounge

Basics: $5 well drinks, $4 draft beers, $6 select wine, $3-12.50 food. Daily specials run 2:30 p.m.(!) to 6:00 p.m. and 10:00 p.m. to close.


When is a well drink not a well drink?

Ah, a Carroll-esque riddle for the ages (or at least for the recessed economy). As it turns out Hotel 1000's bar Boka -- and several other places we've been to lately -- considers a well drink to be booze and anything coming out of the spigot. Gin and tonic? Sweet, so Brett's in the clear. Vodka soda? Great, I'm good to go. Rum and diet? If we had a rum drinker in our crowd ... well, then that one fifth of the God-awful stuff wouldn't have languished at a year and a half's worth of parties and pre-funks before we finally drank it.

God that was a bad night.

But anyway. Screwdriver, greyhound, or vodka cran drinkers can find themselves paying an added buck per drink. And while that isn't a big deal in the long run, it just struck us as kind of shady without any mention on the menu.

That and the weak drinks -- probably a measured pour -- were about the only complaints we could find of Boka. Short, squat chairs upholstered in cream-colored faux-crocodile draw you into the sleek, modern ambience, full of plush leather rails and opaque milkglass bamboo. The well-stocked bar, wine rack, and rear dining area's walls glow brightly, cycling through numerous shades of frost-biten colored flourescence.

Food-wise we fared much better. Truffle fries were much tastier than their usual burger accompaniment counterparts ("That's probably the fanciest presentation of french fries I've ever seen!" the APIC gushed). The crab cakes I ordered were amazing: airy and fluffy on the inside, while satisfyingly crunchy on the out. The rest of the food menu, though, underwhelmed: everything looked good, but none of it sounded extremely appetizing.

But maybe we have lowbrow tastes: on the way home, we totally hit up Subway for a couple $5 footlongs.

Boka Kitchen and Bar. 1010 First Ave (First & Madison), Seattle's Downtown. Daily 2:30-6:00 p.m., late night 10:00 p.m. to close.

The Triple Door

Basics: $3 draft beers, $4 well drinks and select specialty drinks, $5-7 glasses of wine, $3-5 food. Daily specials run 4:00 p.m. to 6:00 p.m.; late-night specials run 9:00 p.m. to midnight Sundays through Thursdays.


Let’s say you just started to date a new guy. He’s cute. He’s funny. You two have a lot in common. He knows the right point when you want your hand held and knows exactly when to break a kiss. All and all it looks great. On paper. Because deep down you know it’s not going to work: he's just not right for you. But you date him anyway because it’s not like you have a lot of prospects right now and, well, it feels good to curl up on the couch with someone every now and then.

That’s how I’ll quantify The Triple Door: you know you’re not going the distance, but damn if they don’t pour adequate drinks at a decent price in a convenient location.

Well, no, I take that back a bit. The APIC* complained a few hours later that he didn’t feel anything after his three Triple Door beverages. Personally the only thing that had a bit of kick was their Golden Triangle: a tasty concoction of tequila, pineapple juice and muddled Thai basil, the combination of herbs and liquor balancing the other out exceptionally well.

Generally, though, our party found the drinks too damn sweet. With Asian-esque flavors down stage and center, the potency of the liquor easily gets lost in a syrupy mixture which handily gives a boost to the blood-sugar instead of blood-alcohol levels.

There’s a pan-Asian flair that runs through the menu, which makes sense as sister restaurant Wild Ginger is located just upstairs (and I’m told the happy hour that exists only in the new Bellevue Wild Ginger is worth checking out). The food – ranging from chicken or beef satays with peanut sauce to veggie spring rolls with pineapple sauce – was priced right and was pleasant to the tongue.

The bar really started to fill up after the 9-to-5'ers clocked out for the day. The Triple Door’s proximity to both Downtown’s retail core and financial district must make it a regular spot for shoppers and corporate-types alike, so get there early if you can.

And while the ambiance, food, and promise of live shows (The Triple Door also doubles as a concert venue) all try well, the outcome didn’t live up to the hype for most my party. We all walked away feeling a little hungry, a little sober, and poking at the little manta rays in the sizable aquarium by the front entrance.

OK, the aquarium is kind of worth seeing.

* Really? Do I need to assemble a glossary?

The Triple Door. 216 Union St (between Second and Third Aves), Seattle’s Downtown. Daily 4:00-6:00 p.m., late night 9:00 p.m. to midnight Sundays through Thursdays.