C.C.Attle's

Basics: $5 heavy pour double wells. All business hours.


Let’s you and I level a bit: CC’s is one of the gayest of the gay bars Seattle has to offer. If you’re not comfortable around burly homosexual men, you’d probably do better sliding down a razor blade into a pool of salted lemon juice rather than entering the Verandah Room.

(Hell, I remember how uncomfortable I felt my first time walking in. Here I am, this Seattle neophyte, entering behind this beefy man with what looked to be Brillo pads on his shoulders and biceps. He turns and grunts out, “Mm. Fresh meat.” To this day, I’m still haunted by his gut, which pushed the tensile strength of his ribbed cotton tank to its limits. These are not memories one easily forgets.)

But if you are comfortable around the lavender-types – and you happen to enjoy over-the-top drinks – CC’s is worth repeat visits. Happy hour never ends with $5 heavy-pour double wells spilling all afternoon and evening.

Let’s break that down: Happy hour never ends. Five dollar. Heavy-pour. Double wells. All. Day. Long.

That’s the equivalent of a pint glass full of gin with just a dash of tonic and lime, or a shit ton of vodka with a scant amount of Red Bull or orange juice.

While CC’s is a regular hot spot on the gay pub crawl circuit, the bar takes on a vastly different character and tone during daylight hours. People seemed more relaxed. Chill. Conversational. (Though, that may very well be because of a wicked buzz going: "God it's still strong," the APIC* slurred in the middle of his second. "Even after all the ice has melted.") CC's definitely ranks up there as one of Seattle’s friendliest gay bars.

That's not to say a visit here is an uplifting experience: happy hour here is anything but. Gay dive bars have a history of depressing atmospheres. For decades they've acted as gathering spots and watering holes to outcast and downtrodden homosexuals. And while we're living in a much more progressive era, that mentality is in the genetics of queer dive bars. So, no, CC's patrons aren't moping around attempting to slash their wrists - but they certainly aren't acting the height of hilarity, either.

As far as drowning sorrows in a Jack and Coke, one could do a lot worse. These drinks require an iron liver. They're strong enough, in fact, to knock the APIC* and I out after a few. And knock us so far out, actually, that one of us left his debit card after closing out.

(And, no, it wasn’t me.)

C.C. Attle’s. 1501 E Madison St (15th and Madison), Seattle’s Central District. Weekdays noon to 2:00 a.m., weekends 11:00 a.m. to 2:00 a.m.

UPDATE: C.C.'s officially closed it's doors September 30, 2010 due to construction of the forthcoming Cascadia Center, a six-story commercial building. Since then, C.C.'s manager Chris Daw has (semi-officially) announced the bar will take over the space currently occupied by Cafe Metropolitain at 1701 E Olive Way (E Olive Way and Boylston Ave E).

Bai Pai

Basics: $3 well drinks and select beer; $3.75 select wine; $4.25 small plates. Specials run Sundays, Wednesdays, Thursdays 4:00 p.m. to 6:00 p.m.; Mondays and Tuesdays 4:00 p.m. to 10:00 p.m.


Though I live smack in the middle of Seattle’s Downtown retail core, I work just North of the University District in the Roosevelt neighborhood (named after Teddy, not Franklin Delano). Roosevelt is an interesting little corner of the city, home to hippies, Whole Foods, and countless yoga studios. It's also home to Roosevelt High School, one of Seattle's largest. And not entirely off-topic, it's home to the dry cleaner to whom I took my blazer two years ago after some RHS juniors egged me as I walked home after work.

Grr. As much as that night still ticks me off -- and it does -- it's not germane to happy hour. So I’ll digress.

Lately I've embraced the idea of getting out and exploring some Seattle's other neighborhoods. It's rare my circle of friends leave our Downtown/Capitol Hill boundaries, and I relished the opportunity to spend some time in Roosevelt's neighboring Ravenna to see what it has to offer. What it ended up offering, though, was a sobering reminder of why we should think twice before leaving our urban nest.

First impressions were (and to some extent still are) great: Bai Pai has a large, manicured dining area that maintains a strong intimate feeling and sports a brightly colored decor that doesn't overdo. The waitstaff was extremely friendly (not to mention drool-worthy attractive ... but again, I digress), and the small plates we had certainly did not disappoint.

But (and this is a big one). But the drinks were on-par with vacation Bible school Kool-Aid. The vodka soda I ordered had no trace of alcoholic oomph whatsoever. My three bucks would have been better spent on (shudder) Boone’s Strawberry Hill. Or better yet on a Budweiser Hurricane -- or, as we called it in college, “The Slurricane.”

As a restaurant, Bai Pai has gotten many an accolade for their food, and I should add another: the garlic string beans we had are actually pretty amazing. As a bar, however, I cannot stress this point enough: Skip. This. Happy hour.

You’ll find a better buzz at the Chevron a block away. Just, you know, try to keep it classy.

Bai Pai. 2316 NE 65th St (24th Ave NE and NE 65th St), Seattle’s Ravenna. Sundays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, 4:00-7:00 p.m. Mondays & Tuesdays, 4:00-10:00 p.m.

The Diller Room

Basics: $5 Grey Goose, Bacardi, or Bombay drinks; $5 select wine and beer; $5 small plates; $8 specialty drinks. Daily specials run 5:00 p.m. to 7:00 p.m. (As with any new bar, specials subject to change.)


If, say, Clark Gable and George Clooney were to open a bar together, The Diller Room might very well be the outcome. There’s a dual air of rustic, old-world charm with heavy doses of no-nonsense, modern-day sensibility that mingle together very nicely: much like the decent-pour gin and tonics I ordered.

The decor takes a cue from this everything-old-is-new-again theme: beveled mirrors and plush wingchairs adorn a sunken bar with exposed brick and piping. Traditional round barstools are placed near Victorian chairs upholstered with unraveling tapestry. Sleek, low mahogany leather sofas dimly reflect light from a chandelier and sconces covered in crystal beads. The contradictory furniture pairings work very much in The Diller Room’s favor, gilded letters and all.

Though the interior comes off especially pleasing, I’m giving the newly opened bar the benefit of the doubt when it comes to drinks. Staff members are still finding their footing, so I can’t completely write them off during these formative weeks. Beverages were so-so as far as toxicity levels, though a clink of the glass to the owners for offering middle-to-top-shelf booze at bottom-shelf prices. The food was hit more than miss -- the BLT sliders garnered raves from Brett and pans from Troy. The Salumi platter had little complaint, nor should it: five bucks for some of the finest locally cured meats Seattle has to offer is an outstanding price.

Anyone choosing to venture into the specialty drink menu should sample the Sapphire Fizz: gin, Chambord, limes, egg white and powdered sugar, shaken and served up. The layered, complex taste of the savory gin with sweet raspberry overtones made for a frothy, delicious drink steeped in booze that kicks hard to the gullet.

(Side note: Worst. Men’s room. I’ve ever seen. And this coming from a guy who frequents many a gay bar, which says something. A deep-sink worthy of high school janitors paired with a non-functioning hot water faucet? Really? Health codes aside, it’s as if Clark and George allowed Pauly Shore to couch surf for a week. And, honestly, who would pay to see that movie?)

The Diller Room. 1224 First Ave (First and Union), Seattle’s Downtown. Daily, 5:00-7:00 p.m. Specials subject to change.

Jasmine

Basics: $5 well drinks, $4 sake and wine, $5-7 sushi rolls, $1.50-6 small plates. Weekday specials run 4:00 p.m. to 6:00 p.m.


Asian. Alcohol. Adequate.

(Brevity is so underused nowadays. As are alliterations.)

Jasmine. 1100 Fourth Ave (Fourth and Spring), Seattle’s Downtown. Weekdays 4:00-6:00 p.m.

Maharaja Cuisine of India

Basics: $2 well drinks, select $1 appetizers with drink purchase. Daily specials run 4:00 p.m. to 9:00 p.m. (Don't be confused: there are several different businesses in the greater Seattle area with the same name. This is the one on Capitol Hill.)


A bunch of us had a discussion at brunch a few weeks back about how many drinks it takes for one to feel buzzed. While most agreed that two was the magic number, Arlen and I felt that five was more appropriate.

That said: you could not pay me enough to down five drinks poured at Maharaja.

Tucked away behind faded batik swaths lies one of Seattle’s most potent bars, daily pouring toxic drinks that deliciously burn going down in the most masochistic of fashions. I ordered two positively antiseptic gin and tonics and by some miracle of life was still able to form coherent sentences by the time the check came around.

Don’t misunderstand: these are not good drinks. Connoisseurs would do well walking up the Pike/Pine Corridor in favor of swankier bars with an actual palette for cocktails. But for those people who’ve had it up to here with their boss for the sixth time this week? Slap down $2 and blissfully sip away your frustrations.

Don’t come for the décor, unless you enjoy spending time at Cornish's freshmen dorm. Ignore the music, except if you’re familiar with Bollywood’s greatest hits. But these drinks? Unless you have an 8.0-on-the-Richter-scale hangover (like the APIC did … sorry about last night!), come enjoy the cheap-as-hell fuck-you-up booze that we all dreamt of in college.

On the other hand, you could listen to the advice of co-worker Sara: Maharaja generally sounds like a great idea. It rarely is.

Maharaja Cuisine of India. 720 E Pike St (Pike and Harvard), Seattle's Capitol Hill. Daily 4:00-9:00 p.m.

UPDATE: Maharaja has closed its doors as of the January 2011. As a collective, Seattleites' livers are undoubtedly happy, but their wallets are weeping.

Boka Kitchen and Lounge

Basics: $5 well drinks, $4 draft beers, $6 select wine, $3-12.50 food. Daily specials run 2:30 p.m.(!) to 6:00 p.m. and 10:00 p.m. to close.


When is a well drink not a well drink?

Ah, a Carroll-esque riddle for the ages (or at least for the recessed economy). As it turns out Hotel 1000's bar Boka -- and several other places we've been to lately -- considers a well drink to be booze and anything coming out of the spigot. Gin and tonic? Sweet, so Brett's in the clear. Vodka soda? Great, I'm good to go. Rum and diet? If we had a rum drinker in our crowd ... well, then that one fifth of the God-awful stuff wouldn't have languished at a year and a half's worth of parties and pre-funks before we finally drank it.

God that was a bad night.

But anyway. Screwdriver, greyhound, or vodka cran drinkers can find themselves paying an added buck per drink. And while that isn't a big deal in the long run, it just struck us as kind of shady without any mention on the menu.

That and the weak drinks -- probably a measured pour -- were about the only complaints we could find of Boka. Short, squat chairs upholstered in cream-colored faux-crocodile draw you into the sleek, modern ambience, full of plush leather rails and opaque milkglass bamboo. The well-stocked bar, wine rack, and rear dining area's walls glow brightly, cycling through numerous shades of frost-biten colored flourescence.

Food-wise we fared much better. Truffle fries were much tastier than their usual burger accompaniment counterparts ("That's probably the fanciest presentation of french fries I've ever seen!" the APIC gushed). The crab cakes I ordered were amazing: airy and fluffy on the inside, while satisfyingly crunchy on the out. The rest of the food menu, though, underwhelmed: everything looked good, but none of it sounded extremely appetizing.

But maybe we have lowbrow tastes: on the way home, we totally hit up Subway for a couple $5 footlongs.

Boka Kitchen and Bar. 1010 First Ave (First & Madison), Seattle's Downtown. Daily 2:30-6:00 p.m., late night 10:00 p.m. to close.

The Triple Door

Basics: $3 draft beers, $4 well drinks and select specialty drinks, $5-7 glasses of wine, $3-5 food. Daily specials run 4:00 p.m. to 6:00 p.m.; late-night specials run 9:00 p.m. to midnight Sundays through Thursdays.


Let’s say you just started to date a new guy. He’s cute. He’s funny. You two have a lot in common. He knows the right point when you want your hand held and knows exactly when to break a kiss. All and all it looks great. On paper. Because deep down you know it’s not going to work: he's just not right for you. But you date him anyway because it’s not like you have a lot of prospects right now and, well, it feels good to curl up on the couch with someone every now and then.

That’s how I’ll quantify The Triple Door: you know you’re not going the distance, but damn if they don’t pour adequate drinks at a decent price in a convenient location.

Well, no, I take that back a bit. The APIC* complained a few hours later that he didn’t feel anything after his three Triple Door beverages. Personally the only thing that had a bit of kick was their Golden Triangle: a tasty concoction of tequila, pineapple juice and muddled Thai basil, the combination of herbs and liquor balancing the other out exceptionally well.

Generally, though, our party found the drinks too damn sweet. With Asian-esque flavors down stage and center, the potency of the liquor easily gets lost in a syrupy mixture which handily gives a boost to the blood-sugar instead of blood-alcohol levels.

There’s a pan-Asian flair that runs through the menu, which makes sense as sister restaurant Wild Ginger is located just upstairs (and I’m told the happy hour that exists only in the new Bellevue Wild Ginger is worth checking out). The food – ranging from chicken or beef satays with peanut sauce to veggie spring rolls with pineapple sauce – was priced right and was pleasant to the tongue.

The bar really started to fill up after the 9-to-5'ers clocked out for the day. The Triple Door’s proximity to both Downtown’s retail core and financial district must make it a regular spot for shoppers and corporate-types alike, so get there early if you can.

And while the ambiance, food, and promise of live shows (The Triple Door also doubles as a concert venue) all try well, the outcome didn’t live up to the hype for most my party. We all walked away feeling a little hungry, a little sober, and poking at the little manta rays in the sizable aquarium by the front entrance.

OK, the aquarium is kind of worth seeing.

* Really? Do I need to assemble a glossary?

The Triple Door. 216 Union St (between Second and Third Aves), Seattle’s Downtown. Daily 4:00-6:00 p.m., late night 9:00 p.m. to midnight Sundays through Thursdays.